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@hetty-rowan
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This sounds very familiar to me, and I think it's part of humans nature to have that feeling. We all have 'our worst days', and we all look up to others. What helps me is to remind myself that they also started somewhere ...

And what maybe will not work for someone else, does work for me. I look at my dogs, and when I see those faithful snouts looking at me I know what I'm fighting for. I want to be able to give them everything ... even though they don't ask anything else than just attention. And to look at them, and knowing what I want to give them, what I want to give my partner ... that helps me to continue my fight, and keeps me going on.

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