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The Story of Mina Rojas, the Hive Punk (warning: very sad)

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hey frens

Warning: very sad story about my Hive Punk Mina Rojas. If you are easily triggered or offended, please click off this post. If you're ready for a laugh, then strap in. This could get a little weird. I thought I'd start my daily writing with something creative and fun before I dive into crypto and NFT stuff. So please, enjoy.

Mina Rojas, Day Trader

Mina Rojas is your average 21 year old that's unemployed and gets physically ill at the thought of doing actual work for money. She grew up in a shitty little town in the middle of nowhere on the east side of the U.S. Her parents were never really around. Dad worked 2 jobs and mom was always out late. She ran away from home at the age of 16, hopped on a train headed west. She knew that if she could make it to the west coast, she could do anything she wanted. Or so she thought. Mina had her eyes set on the land of opportunity, the place where you go to make it as an entrepreneur, the magical place where anything is possible. She was Californi-bound. Headed to to great Las Cringeles (yes, it's a joke about L.A.) to be a self-made millionaire.

When she arrived in Las Cringeles, she was broke, hungry, and had nowhere to go. She walked around to different cafes and restaurants asking for work, but no one wanted to hire her. They all told her "It's 2021 ma'am, you have to apply online and someone will call you"... They were right, it was 2021 and literally no one lets you apply for jobs in person anymore. That's like telling someone you're going to fax them instead of just text them. Anyway, Mina was down on her luck, desparate and confused. She wandered the streets of Las Cringeles hoping to find shelter and some hope. She knew she would find it because she always heard about people moving to L.C. and getting rich. Despite being homeless and broke, she knew she was in the right place.

After sleeping in a park, she woke up the next day feeling sad. It had rained, she was used to people getting food for her, and she had no general idea about how to survive in the real world. You know, the world outside her parents' house. Mina found herself wandering the streets and was approached by a nicely dressed man that walked out of an alley.

The man said, "Hey kid, you wanna make some mother-fuckin money?"

Mina, "Uh... yeah"

"Come with me" He replied.

He walked her about 20 feet into the alley-way and introduced himself as "Howie". He was dressed in a suit that looked very expensive. He was wearing a pair of big sun-glasses at all times. He was too cool for the haters. He showed Mina how he makes money consulting people on day trading cryptocurrency. He told her that he could show her the way to make it big in L.C. She was 16 and had no idea about anything so she was obviously excited! He got her a fancy hotel for the night and she asked for his contact information. He was so cool that he just pulled out his phone and showed a QR code. She stared at him, confused. He said, "Scan it with your phone". She stumbled and figured out how. Then he walked away without saying anything.

The QR code opened a website with a calendar invite link. Bam, a meeting was added to her iCalendar. It read "How to Make a Million Dollars Day Trading". She quickly got ready for bed and passed out. She was exhausted and this was a fancy bed and all. The next day, she went to the address listed on the calendar invite hoping to see Howie again so she can learn from him. As she approached, she realized that her GPS was leading her into a Waffle Crib. and there Howie was, she could see him through the window, standing in from of a table of about 5 people. She walked in and he greeted her then pulled her a chair to the table.

Howie says, "So that's how you start day trading. All you have to do is pay me $420.69, that's 69% off the original cost of my money making courses! Then it's only $99.97 per month for the rest of your life! You'll have a million dollars so you won't even care. Our next meeting will be in 1 week."

Everyone at the table pulled out money and handed it to him.

He then started walking away and Mina ran after him. She said "Hey, what the hell was that?"

He looked back, "That's how I make money with crypto. I get other people to pay me to learn my trading secrets and never tell them my secrets. Probably because I don't have any." Then kept walking. Out the front door, and off into the shadows. The people at the table sat there confused and just pulled out their phones to try day trading since that's why they thought they were there.

Mina joined them at the table and downloaded Crynance (lol, binance) with one of their referral links. She asked them what they all did for work and they all said they were day traders. She was now also a day trader.

The end.


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