Shadows of the night, working the grind

It was another late night lastnight working away on the grind, I often dream about the 9-5 grind and I sometimes envy others with a set working hours on a roster. My jobs a little different, it involves project work and anyone who has ever worked in this fields understands the complexities in managing a project. Especially on the kind that I work on. I can't simply turn off and leave things for tomorrow. Quite often someone's life is dependent on the change.

I hold community consultations and codesign workshops which need to be flexible and include a broad range of people to hear their needs, wants and desires. Incorporating them into project briefs, designs and processes.

Then the work can begin implementing the feedback and consults into the brief. It takes time to read through hundreds of feedback forms, minuted notes and reports. Then I need to make a decision from what everyone has provided me and take it back by the next meeting for people to decide on it.

I'm pretty good at it, I've developed a skill that I can remove my own opinion and just look at things as they are pull them apart, put it back together and deliver something that everyone can agree on.

But the hours are long and tiring and I do miss out on alot of family moments but I make up for it along the way by implementing my own plan for family. It's why at times I get upset when I hear people attack office based workers or complain that my job isn't a job. My hourly rate might look good on paper but when divided amongst the actual hours worked I probably get a lot less than a 9 - 5er or a labourer. I am not eligible for overtime payments as salary based roles are often just that.

I don't mind it though, I love my job. Just like every job it has its moments and hardships but I enjoy being able to create something that benefits the broader community. I throw myself into these projects and am dedicated to them.

But sometimes, nights like tonight the house is still, outside I can hear the winds breeze. The nights are getting darker, colder and winter is on the horizon. My fingers between to go numb from typing and utility costs in Australia are quite expensive which limits the amount of power one can use.

The work I do involves some really traumatic experiences that people have gone through and my role is to develop something that will ensure it doesn't happen again. No easy task and the things I read, the stories I am told are quite hard to bear for anyone even if you haven't experienced it yourself.

So I go for a late night walk around the neighbourhood to destress myself. I usually hit the gym but not always possible when you've been working to 1:30am.

It's peaceful at this time, no one around and much of the world asleep not knowing what's occurring or what's happening. I often look around, thinking about what each person does for work, how they're coping, what struggles they are going through and how they manage it.

Life can be a hard thing to get through for many and as we all reside in such a close knit community houses throughout history have never been this close. Yet we are all still so so so far away from each other.

You're less likely to know your neighbours the closer you live to them, I often wonder if it's because your neighbours can hear and see everything you get upto. Sound travels so much further at night. I often here arguments echoing down my street as sound has no where to escape to. It is as loud as if it was occurring next to me.

Boutique suburbs, close proximity and designer homes have really created a whole new world of disconnect and unknowns.