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To Work or Not to Work

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@metzli
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I sit on my bed typing this, with one part of my arm on the toddler

She's spoiled, I know, but she's the last and I know it, so I soak up every last bit of "baby" that I can.

She's the biggest, most coordinated of the toddlers, just one tiny gait change from being considered a little girl instead.

Today, while sending references in to my "dream job"

I called to check on the High School, making sure my references still work there.

Ey, Metzli, you should come check out what we have going on here. We need at least four teachers

Si quieres, you know. Ya sabes lo que sabes

I didn't bother to check the pay or the benefits, because, well, can I even handle a job right now?

I am married but don't live with my husband

Don't plan on living with my husband.

Don't mind staying married

But definitely for sure don't want to share a house, with said husband.

Which means I am basically a single mom, with four kids, a home to tend to, ageing parents who are starting to need prods and pokes to, and grandparents.

Bless my grandparents. And Bless the time it takes to sort out dr appointments and medications. And Thank you God because I get to have these challenges, in California.

I have to figure out where that leak is coming from as the grass is still green

...and I haven't watered it in months, the grout needs some help, those bushes need to keep getting trimmed, that garage ... and a few other things I'd rather not mention online.

Then there's my #urbangardening

And those cats...

The bills still have to get paid.

Or "my portion" of them anyway. And they usually do. Through this and that, and whatever.

The Blockchain helps, because with SSN, a paid off home, my measly retirement accounts, and HIVE, my retirement shouldn't fully suck. And I have another 29 years to prepare.

Although that's 3 years after the "official" age, not bad for a Native American Female with no tribal benefits, no inheritances, and parents she must help survive (not yet, but I'd be dumb to think that's not coming).

I make it and still love my life and everything.

But this job.

A potential "real" job with a monthly income, and benefits.

A life outside of my home. With an income to just pay a friggin gardener.

I think I'll stick to the Original "Dream Job" I've been applying for.

Librarian - 19 hours a week, enough pay to meet my monthly needs and a few of my wants.

I still haven't figured out how I'm going to budget that one in anyway.

Maybe the solution has always been a gardener

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