Am I obsessed with her? A cry for help.
Now how do I even begin to explain this? It's strange really. There's a female friend of mine with whom I am really close, we confide in each other about things we mostly don't tell anyone else. There's something we discussed about two weeks ago, just before the election.
So this friend of mine is someone some of you will describe as an empath, like she feels people's pain to a much greater degree than the average person so, she provides emotional support for people. Not that she goes about dishing out emotional support like freebies, what I mean is that she has a strong emotional connection with most of the people she knows, but she's always at the giving end.
As someone who forms bonds easily, she started becoming closer to some guy in our class, as a friend I mean. It'd been two weeks since she started really talking to the guy. I had on several occasions wanted to ask her what the deal was with the guy but I decided against it, thinking it was weird to ask her about her relationships with others.
So two weeks after she started getting along with the guy, one day, we were together discussing random everyday stuff. The thing with us is that every time we end a discussion, we always say to each other "...so what's on your mind?". It's just our way of asking each other if there's something bothering either of us.
She brought up the topic of the guy and how he confided in her about some childhood experiences he went through. Although she didn't tell me the main parts out of respect for his secret, but from the little she told me, it seemed to me like the guy in question had unhealthy attachment issues. She told me that the guy would call her about three to four times a day! If he isn't talking about some past experiences, then he is talking about very very mundane and unnecessary things or calling "just to hear her voice".
At first I didn't see anything wrong with it. I initially wrote it off as the case of a person finding someone who actually cares about them. You see, a lot of us didn't get the love we deserve as kids so when we find someone who cares, we tend to get attached easily...and that's what I told her.
she told me that the guy has started saying that he's in love with her. I lolled for 2 minutes straight on hearing that. I mean, it isn't surprising at all, perhaps he had his eyes on her for a long time since we are all in the same time. When asked what her response was to that she replied " I didn't know what to say, I didn't want to hurt feelings so I said "thank you"". That's what she really said. That girl rather says that than hurting feelings.
What happened the next day was that the dude walked up to her after lecture hours and demanded an answer to his "I love you". That was when things started to get real wierd. She said she didn't have an answer and found a way to avoid him for the rest of the day.
The next day, the dude texted her threatening messages about how he would make her suffer if she didn't give him a reply, I was like what the fuck?...Now that's serious.
She was still kind enough and if you ask me, fearless enough to meet up with him to talk after receiving a call from his to discuss something "important." She said the guy told her how no one ever really cared about him and he started crying in front of her. Hearing her tell me all things made me feel embarrassed on the guy's behalf. A part of me feels sorry for him too.
Even during this break, the guy never stops pestering her with calls and text messages.
She asked me what she should do and it was really difficult. I offered to speak with the guy but she was worried that would mess things up the more, I saw her point. I then suggested that, after the break, she should sit the guy down and reason with him. A part of me is also scared for her. Not judging but he could be like those people who don't mind harming other people if things don't go their way. Come to think of it, he already threatened her once.
Apparently, this is a case of obsession, a very unhealthy and unwanted attachment.
Guy's the cry for help is for both of them parties involved. The guy and my friend. The guy needs help obviously as this sort of attachment is extremely unhealthy and for my friend also as she's at a loss on what to do!
