Tari looks interesting. I have to look into it, but on the first look its like smartBCH just for monero (Mone-Tary?).

If you want a true dex, you have to have smart contracts on both sides, OR one smart contract on a blockchain which can observe others. Worst case is when you have a daemon on a server which observes transactions then initiates the other side.

The ThorChain pair maybe could work

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