Leveling up on both sides
We had a promotion task a few days ago and contrary to my fears, I made it to the 4th stage of my Internship. The past few days have been difficult and tiring for me but I made some progress that I'm proud of. Our promotion task was relatively easy. We had an overall project that we were supposed to do as a team of designers and our job was to submit our idea of how the project should look. The days leading to that task were confusing so after submitting the project, we weren't sure if we did what we were asked to do or not.
Before that task, we were asked to submit a style demonstration of how the project should look and a wireframe. We were lost for days on what exactly a style demonstration would look like so we kept designing and redesigning until we finally got it right.
It was not a nice experience. We had 3 meetings in a day on some days and still got the assignment wrong. On other days, we had arguments and I got pretty sick and tired of the entire process but in the end, it all worked out.
Everyone who actively took part in those meetings got promoted and I was happy about that. It showed that as a team we're ready to work. I gave tasks and they responded on time. We laughed and complained together but we eventually got it done and our work was approved.
My submission wasn't that great in my opinion but I still got promoted. I've come to realize over the past few days that there's so much I don't know because I was initially self-taught and then tutored by someone who was also initially self-taught.
My way of doing things is a lot cruder than other designers and after having a conversation with them, we concluded that it doesn't matter. However, I still feel insecure about my inabilities and it has made me somewhat lazy and shy.
My biggest fear is failing and disappointing people who have high expectations of me. It's why I constantly nag about how I'm a beginner so they don't expect much from me and nothing I do can be disappointing. It's one of the coping mechanisms that I know I'll have to outgrow to get through this internship.
I've successfully gotten this far and now I'll need to let go of my insecurities to get to the final stage and it's going to be hard. I've been shying away from a lot of tasks and delegating to other designers because I'm a leader and I can easily do that but soon enough I'll get caught and that'll be even harder on the team.
I know getting to the end of this will be a high bonus on my portfolio so I anticipate victory.
Thanks for reading
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