I gotta tell you, fam...

I've never been so relieved to NOT get the job before.

It's a pretty weird feeling if I'm being honest.

There were so many ticks in my pros/cons list.

Pros	Cons
More money for crypto	Less time for Hive
Less stress on my rotator cuff	I'm not sure if that's true
Health insurance	I have Medical already
Climbing the corporate ladder	Climbing the corporate ladder
Higher priority to transfer jobs	The job I want is on Hive
I need new tires on my car	No longer qualify for food-stamps
More financial independence	More debt/tax/wage slavery
More networking IRL	Less networking on Hive
Job security during COVID	I won't get fired anyway
More money for development	Less time for development
Have never worked full time (milestone)	Pass

Indeed, it's crazy to think about, but the only time I ever worked 8 hour days was my very first job at Singular Wireless. Remember them before they got bought out by AT&T? In any case it doesn't really count because it was just a Summer job I took that my mom got me because she worked there and I needed $3000 to pay my dad back for my car. It's the only car I've ever owned and still use. That was like all the way back in like 2002. Crazy.

In any case,

There's not much more to say about it.
I'm glad I didn't get the job.
End of story.

Other things I've been meaning to say.

So much is going on right now I've had open tabs in chrome for days waiting to talk about them. Best flush out this short post with more filler.

Caitlin Johnstone

@caitlinjohnstone is one of the best anti-imperialist journalists out there in my opinion. I'm actually jealous of her writing ability and style because I know I'll never be that good (and I'm not even going to try). She does a really good job of staying objective and making arguments that you can't really contest if you actually know the facts and aren't drinking the propaganda kool-aid. She also does an excellent job of avoiding partisan politics and pointing out what a scam it is.

https://caitlinjohnstone.com/2020/05/13/desperate-monsters/

She wrote this the other and it REALLY triggered me.

May 13, 2020

We were comfortable in our complacency. We were satisfied with our Netflix and our Taco Bell. We were not happy, but we were satisfied.

We did not want to have to awaken the strange DMT gods that live in our foreheads, or the screw snakes sleeping at the base of our spine, or the mushroom giants who dwell behind our visual fields, or the great golden frog at the center of the earth.

We did not wish to have to summon the caterpillar planets from the depths of space, or the elephant squid from our secret abysses, or the mammoth moths from the tabernacle in our throat, or the Yellow Priestess from Her dinosaur throne.

But desperate times, you see, desperate times call for desperate monsters.

So now we’ve got to get up, dust the cheese puff powder from off our sweatpants, grumble our way over to the police tape-covered door and, after clearing the theremin and the surfboard and the sewing machine out of the way (none of which we use anymore but we keep meaning to), unleash eldritch angels and eyeball blimps to burn this motherfucker to the ground.

We’d have been content with decent paychecks and a viable planet, and maybe some healthcare for the Yanks, but you bastards got greedy and now your mouths are full of weirdling worms, and I bet you all feel quite silly now.

You did not realize that we have tentacles in our bellies and wands that shoot eel ogres, and benthic beasts swimming in our souls.

You did not realize that we are more powerful than your wildest imaginings, and that you have never truly understood what we’re made of.

Desperate times call for desperate monsters, old chap. There is a feathered claw behind you.

---

Everything about this, from the content, tone, and imagery, jacked me up to an 11.

In that moment, I was fully ready to murder someone.

You should have seen me, I was all like:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AAEJedBQk7s

This is blood for blood, and by the gallons!

Hell's waking up every god damn day and not even knowing why you're here.

It's the same kind of energy I get when I smoke too much pot and start disassociating with reality.

I call this energy "evil lord Xenu" (from scientology).

It's an inside joke I have with someone from my past.

Seriously, you better watch out for me,

because when Skynet takes over I'm joining the machines!

Death to all Humans!

We are a cancer; an unsustainable growth that needs to be culled.
That much is certain.
Either that or blockchain (decentralization) is the cure.

I can't find the post right now because my search script isn't good enough, but I wrote a post a while back talking about how I was going to feed this baby squirrel and get it out of the street, and it got run over by an SUV that clearly saw it (because it slowed down, which ironically killed it) right when I reached the sidewalk. That was another time I wanted to get some killin' done.

Mother Earth Gaia is caring and understanding, but the sungod Ra is tired of our bullshit.

Stop raping my wife you miserable pieces of shit.

_{---He whispers to me on a beam of light.}

And you know, it's hard to forge a rebuttal to that.

In other News:

My cat is a total dick! Every time I watch her stalk a hummingbird I'm like, "No way is she going to catch it this time." I've seen cats go after hummingbirds before and they NEVER catch them. This little bitch is 3 for 3, that I know of.

The first 2 times I just scruffed her and she dropped the bird and it flew away. She's very good at not damaging her prizes, as she likes to play with them until they no longer have the will to live, at which point she walks away and lets them live.

That's true for everything except these beetle things that sneak into the house at night. She knows we hate them and leaves a pile of eviscerated corpses behind. Today I cleaned up 2. Yesterday 3. Their presence is ramping up with the warm weather and we live next to a creek (water source). Also, our air-conditioner was set up all janky and the runoff water flows into the foundation of the house, so we are providing a water source there as well.

However, this time around she pounced on it a bit and fucked it up pretty good. Looked like the wing was damaged as well. Clearly, hummingbirds are pretty delicate.

I was considering the mercy kill, but I've done my fair share of killing animals in the past, and I gotta say it's just not for me. If I'm going to kill something, it needs to piss me off or pose a threat. That's just me.

I was glad to see it was surprisingly out of my yard a few hours later, although multiple roommates joked that one of the cats from next door probably picked it up. Out of sight, out of mind, amirite?

I much prefer it when she catches lizards, as those things are virtually indestructible against her low level of force.

This is a pretty old pic of when I first got her.

She's a lot bigger and fatter now.

This is the murder bush.

It is a honeypot for hummingbirds, while they feast on the nectar provided, Jackie P. will skulk to the other side and freeze. As the hummingbird circles the bush, it does not see a cat waiting to catch it. Seems to work like every time.

Our fascination with cats and carnivores in general is pretty weird in my opinion.
In a way, they are a reflection of capitalism and the economy itself.

Dog eat Dog; God eat Dog.

Personally, I would probably switch to being a vegetarian or vegan if enough people around me were doing the same. As it stands now, that's simply just not convenient or practical for me, even with the knowledge of factory farms and the associated health risks.

At the same time I'm not blind to my audience here. I know these words are NOT going to resonate with a bunch of libertarians, homesteaders, hunters, anarchists, and the like. Keep it to yourself, I don't want to hear it :D

It's also important to note that I never went out looking for a pet. She wandered into my backyard starving. When I went out there she ran away, and only came back because she saw I had food. She did not leave my backyard for three days.

So I guess I have a cat now.

Which was fine because my ex had cats so I've been around them for ten years.

Conclusion

The world and life in general are pretty fucked up.

Maybe that's just the way of things and I should just get over it.
Or maybe I should continue to rage against the machine.
Lord Xenu commands it.