A Letter of Love... to Myself

in creativecoin •  11 months ago  (edited)

Everything in my life has been turned upside down lately, and has left me in a place where I am unsure about the people I associate with (and I mean everyone), and the life I am living. I did not think it was possible to feel so much betrayal and dishonesty in such a short period of time, and I honestly thought the worst of experiencing those type of things in my life was behind me.. but I have never been so wrong.

Mural I found on my walk near downtown Portland
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As untrusting as I have been with people in the past, it obviously was not untrusting enough. I will never trust ANYONE completely again, and I have no good reason to change that perspective based on the compilation of all my experiences in life. It is unwise to give my trust to other human beings... period. They are not worthy as a species. I now trust in myself only.

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With this in mind, I also have not been feeling loved, and no one is fighting for me in ways I really need them to, "friends" or otherwise. So, since no one would even so much as give me a flower to make up for wronging me, or just simply to make me feel like I am worthy of SOMETHING, I decided that only I can love me, and show me the love I need to feel right now.. as sad as that is.

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After coming to this conclusion - I originally thought I should buy myself a rose... instead I decided to buy myself a moss plant to keep me company more permanently at the desk where I create. Additionally, since no one is reminding me of who I REALLY am... I dug deep into my subconscious, and found my true self speaking back to me. That is when I wrote the following letter TO myself, FROM myself.

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There are two sides of my being, the side that knows my TRUE power, and all the energy I have the potential to wield at any given moment, and my other side - the side that is constantly pelted by the world and it's people, calling into question the true power of my real self.. and making my true self feel like he no longer exists. Since this is a constant battle, I decided to write this letter to myself so I can read it to myself daily, as a reminder that even though no one else may recognize it, I know who I really am deep down. The letter goes as follows:

"Sass,

I love you because of the immense energy you possess and weild. I only wish to see you grab your destiny completely and without fear, allowing you to always weild your power. You are worthy of a life that is fair to you, and your codes of conduct. You deserve to be surrounded by other honorable and respectful humans, and you deserve a partner that you do not have to worry about being unfaithful and dishonest with you. You deserve the life THAT YOU WANT. You should have personal time in your own energy, to be able to tune in with the right frequencies of creation, so you can receive, decipher, and reorient ancient etheric transmissions from the universe, in poetic and beautiful form - divine gifts for humanity, and light codes to unlock treasures of human minds. You are a rare force in this world, that has the power to harness ELAmental forces whenever you surrender to the flow of life. You truly are an ELAmental being - you are one with the elements and commune wih the language of Gaia when she speaks with you... YOU FEEL EVERYTHING! Do not let anyone tell you that you are crazy again when your intuition is giving you strong signals. You already know your high level of intuition, as well as how much it has amplified recently, but still you are modest, always considering every possibility to give logic it's fair due (even in the most difficult circumstances). This is an earmark of a truly wise individual.

You are even wise enough to realize that you can always learn something from someone else, even if they generally know less than you, or are not as intelligent as you are. Conversely, you know there is always something you can teach another, and are discerning enough to understand when your energy will be wasted on someone unwilling to give your teachings a chance, or just simply will not listen.

Sass - you are a powerful, intelligent, intuitive, crafty individual, who has many outstanding attributes, both physically and spiritually. Do not let the things you do not like about yourself define who you are, instead improve all you can, and learn to love what you cannot. You have been blessed with abilities and opportunities many people only dream about, and you have been able to harness a good portion of your potential. Your energy is greatly needed in this world, but its time you AND the world get's the FULL ELAmental force you both deserve, whatever that takes, whatever that means. If you are still scared to take that leap, always remember the few TRUE friends that will be there to walk with you, will always respected you, and will never dishonor your relationship with you no matter what. But over all else, REMEMBER YOUR TRUE POWER AND YOUR POWER OF TRUTH - and all the etheric abilities that come along with it. Never doubt yourself again with ANYTHING - TRUST IN YOURSELF. You deserve to have room FOR YOU IN YOUR LIFE, just you. You are too important to exclude yourself and your feelings from your life's equation at any time. You deserve to attract the same energy and treatment in relationships that you have so graciously given for so many years, and you will. Do not get hung up on the one thing you see as something you did wrong, it was not something you could avoid, and you confronted it in the best way possible without going too far... what happened is not your fault, no matter how much you, or anyone else wants to believe it is. You have a HUGE heart, and just because so many people in your life have taken advantage of you because of that, does not mean that you will not find what you are meant for in it's own due time. Do not give up on hope that you can trust people again - someone will eventually show you why you should, I promise. Finally, and most importantly, you deserve to love yourself, and you should... because you are the best thing that ever happened to you.

Love, ELAmental
    Your true self.

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There is also a follow up to this post you can read here if you like, as a response to @Riverflows' comment on this post.

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Blessings everyone & stay tuned - into the right frequencies

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Oh darling, you've had a suckhole time of late. Don't worry, we've all been loving you here - maybe you don't see it, maybe you do, but humans are fucking awesome, despite your experience.

It is unwise to give my trust to other human beings... period. They are not worthy as a species. I now trust in myself only.

Remember, you are basing this on a select amount of people only, that have their own fucked up things going on. One day, they'll likely regret how they treated you, and one day, you'll forgive them. BUT they are not the whole human race. Trust me. I'm older and wiser and been through it too. Promise, cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye and all of that.

Your letter is gorgeous. You are gorgeous. Great move xx Love you xx

Your comment here effected me so greatly, and spurred such a long and expansive reply, that I was compelled to turn it into its own post:

https://steempeak.com/@elamental/a-vivid-reply-to-that-which-is-needed-the-elamental-riverflows

Thank you <3

We don't really know each other very well but I have always enjoyed your energy, power, music and also the brief moment of your presence. I moments like these there is not much that others can say to uplift ones spirit. However, you are not alone. You are NEVER alone!

Brother, I have a bunch of love for you, and I also enjoy your energy and presence. I notice it even if you don't notice me noticing it. It is too bad you caught me in a time of my life where I am wading in some intensely ruff waters.. it is hard not to let so many fiercely negative experiences all in a row not get me down and affect me... I am doing my best to find growth in it all, but this growth is VERY painful, and is weighing on my chest (heart) and stomach so much I feel it effecting my health. Here is to hoping things are going to feel better for me soon. Prayers are appreciated, and I cannot wait for the day we meet again, hopefully in Oregon this time.

There is also a follow up to this post you can read here if you like.

I am glad you are seeing more light now. Lot's of love from Costa Rica!

Love you, buddy! I remember how you were before moving out west, and see how far you've come. I truly believe it all happens for a reason, and as shitty as things may be right now, there will be an opportunity of abundance because of it. Just like gems are rough and dull, we too shine after some shifting. The one change I would make (I'm working on this myself) is to speak as if these desires already existed, not as wishful thinking or hopes and dreams, ya know? I wish we kept in touch more, but please believe we love you, and one day will all be hanging out again - I miss my friends!!💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

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Thank you @BrutalEdge, the present tense vocal dialect is actual a Hopi tribe philosophy and just simply the way their language is constructed. I do adhere to this way of writing when setting intentions for sure. I actually wrote a comprehensive post about it here.

I am super damaged and fucked up atm... shit went south and I certainly did not deserve it.. and its not the first time, or even then second, extremely devastating and heartbreaking. Just doing my best to not let hate and sadness rule every moment in each day of my life. Much love to you Bria, we will see each other again and hang out in due time. Sorry we missed you guys on our last visit to your area, I was being heavily and deviously manipulated at that time.

There is also a follow up to this post you can read here if you like.

Oh man, DUDE! You accidentally typed Brutal Edge instead of brutledge, and I really like it!😍🤣 I had no idea speaking in present tense was a Hopi philosophy, but it makes sense, lots of languages speak in present tense, and I never even put two and two together. I've been reading a lot of energy, attraction, vibrations type books lately, and it's the complete opposite of what I was taught growing up. Why this way of thinking isn't taught in schools is beyond me.. or is it?🤔 I'm sorry you are in the position you are.. I've been there before. Not sure if you remember my ex, but he was very manipulative. It irks me a bit when I see some of my friends are still friends with him despite the way he treated me, and how I let him for so long. I am still learning to forgive but not forget. Anyway, I will go check out those other posts. And on the real, keep your chin up! I always like 2pac's song on that matter. Love and good vibes my friend.💗💫

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Thank You for this awesome story!❤👍
Upped 100% and resteemed

Thank you for you appreciation... I am in fact doing my best to find love for myself... it is just EXTREMELY difficult right now bc of the situation I am still facing. It has caused me a lot of pain and trauma.

There is also a follow up to this post you can read here if you like.

Thats great story. In fact we all love ourself and try to find the happiness from inside.

The story is really motivational. Thank you @elamental

I am so glad other people are getting something positive out of this. I only speak truth from the heart, it is the most important thing to me. Expecting this from others and their failure to live up to it is what usually gets me down. Thank you for taking the time to read my story!

There is a follow up to this post you can read here if you like.

Keep on being strong brother! That is so right to love yourself and acknowledge the power and goodness that you possess!
Love that you actually wrote this out to remind yourself and keep yourself on the path!
A good example to us all to look to that inner strength and above all else to love ourselves and let that love flow out through the universe ( for it sure can use it with what seems like a tremendous drop in morality!)
Sending you love and light!

Thank you, any appriciation for me or anything I create (including my writing) is a huge help to me right now... as you can imagine I have had a HUGE drop in confidence and inspiration, but I have been fighting through it regardless bc I know I still have a responsibility to this planet in this lifetime and I cannot let other human's mistreatment of me (no matter how close they are to me) get in the way of that. I somehow must find strength in this struggle.

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