Patterns of freedom and debt

We make habits of our common behaviors so as to conserve energy, as the processes of the brain are energy intensive and as energy is a cost, we are looking to save. It is kind of interesting really that our very bodies are conditioned to live in and deal with scarcity, making it more than just a conditioned mindset, as it is coded directly into our very being.

Behavioral habits are very easy to make and while they can save us time and energy, they can obviously also lead to patterns that are less than helpful. An easy example is to look at drug addictions that affect our abilities and our relationships, but there are other patterns that are just as damaging.

Out with a friend last night we were talking about investments and retirements, as she is relatively newly single (a couple years) and has had to adjust for the financial life of a single accordingly. Even though she earns well, her ex-husband (also a good friend of mine) earns a fair bit more than her and as a couple she got used to not having to think much about her money situation at all.

What she has found interesting since this time and I have noted for a while, that regardless of what people are earning, many are living off credit and in debt. She used the example of friends of hers who seemingly had all they needed, house, cars, holidays, stuff... and then they got divorced and she would hear them complain about not having enough money and being in debt. She then discovered that they had been only paying their interest on the house and didn't own the cars, so they could go on holidays.

The reason is that they were living in debt the whole time, but because they had combined incomes, the hand to mouth pattern was sustainable. They could easily service the debt and have enough left over for all the luxuries they wanted. However, once they split up, they had very little in way of assets that held collateral, meaning that now each of them needed a place to stay, with accommodation being a major expense they previously shared. Food, insurances and even petrol that were earlier shared, now became individual expenses that lessened, but didn't reduce 50% in price.

So, now as singles, they have higher expenses and had to adjust their lifestyles according to their means, something that they didn't want to do and out of habit, took far too long to shift their behavior. This meant that they both individually maintained the same "lifestyle" of luxuries that they were accustomed to, even though they couldn't afford, putting new furniture, TVs and holidays (because they deserved it) on credit, setting themselves up for a life of debt slavery - a pattern of behavior.

My friend hasn't had this problem however, as while she has essentially the same conditions, she and her ex had been paying off the house they had shared, putting money away and living within means for the entire time they were together. When they split, they were able to sell joint assets like their house and take the collateral and downgrade into the single life format (smaller homes they mostly own), without too much struggle at all. This made things relatively easily financially and the experience less disruptive for their children. On top of this, both friends noted that because they didn't have major financial worries in the split, they hardly had to discuss money at all, taking a lot of stress out of the experience. They are still very good friends, talk often and are both great parents while apart and when they are together.

The difference in habits between the two couples (and others we talked about as divorce is common) is a stark illustration about how people run their lives. The couple with the money issues earn more than the couple who largely have no issues, yet feel the pressure of scarcity daily, because not only do they have to contend with the costs of life, but they also have to service the costs of debt that go along with it. To get into the relative positions took years for both, one set stepped continually into debt, the other continually into self-sufficiency and ownership.

As we were talking about this, it was bringing to mind my own changing behaviors over the last few decades, where at first I was living more like my parents in a hand to mouth pattern, but have slowly been shifting toward an ownership model. As I have taken up the crypto lifestyle with increasing veracity, I have moved my habits evermore heavily into owning and living within means, which has allowed me to take more risks and actually live a higher quality of life and lifestyle. Going without in order to have.

While our patterns direct our lives heavily, even when we are in the worst conditions of addiction, if we want to get out of it, it is possible, but it takes attentive action. It can be a slow process, but small changes mount up to very large impacts on our life -

In both directions.

Taraz [ Gen1: Hive ]