Sitting at the desk

Being back at work in an office today reminded me that it would be nice not to have to go into work for the money. Don't get me wrong, I like most of my job, the people I work with and the salary isn't shockingly bad - but it is the "have to" that I dislike. I am not very good at taking orders from authority, even if that authority are circumstances of my own making.

In the past, it used to be, "study hard and you'll get a good job", but that hasn't been the case for quite some time. Well, at least it is far less of a guarantee of a good job, which normally equates to a well-paying job. As Finland is one of the most highly educated countries on earth, I have met many people who have plenty of bits of paper, but can't seem to find themselves a well-paying job.

On top of this, I know an increasing number of people who are flitting from one job to the next after relatively short periods of time. This is not necessarily a bad thing when people are gaining experience and moving themselves up - but often it seems, stress is the major reason, with many downgrading their position so as to have less responsibility.

Again, there is nothing wrong with this, but unfortunately for many, while they want less responsibility, they don't want to downgrade their lifestyle accordingly, which means they inevitably end up in debt cycles. The funny thing about having debt is that it forces service, which means one has to again work in order to cover costs, which causes more stress and as I have seen a few times now relatively close up, various levels of mental breakdowns.

I used to think myself quite immune to something like stress leave and probably am pretty well always going to be okay as I tend to find ways to handle my stress, but since the stroke, I have more perspective on what perhaps some are going through. While I do think that the biggest cause of stress is a lack of skill to manage life, I do understand that there are various mindsets that can get in the way.

For example, my own condition meant that the idea of returning to work brought me anxiety, something I haven't got before. Once in that position though, other factors came into play to make matters worse, for example the issue that I haven't been paid for a couple months from any of my jobs and the social services that are meant to cover this period, are dragging their feet processing a decision. Yet, we still have to pay tradespeople and buy materials and furniture for the house, as well as all of the other various costs. Because of these kinds of things, my wife feels anxious too.

There are many more things of course, but my point isn't to list them all, it is to illustrate that one thing leads to another and it can snowball into circumstances that seem insurmountable, as each individual item compounds against the others. It is very easy to feel overwhelmed when life seems to be turning against us and then, the "have tos" seem that much worse, the obligations feel like a noose around the neck and we can become enslaved - feeling victimized at no fault of our own.

But, are we not at fault?

While there are many things outside of our control, if we aren't even making an earnest effort to control the things that we are able to, aren't we at least partly to blame?

Over the last few months, we have been able to survive on next to no income because we have put some savings away, whilst tightening belts in areas we could. It hasn't been comfortable for the most part, but it also hasn't been unbearable.

What we could have done however is had a far easier time of it and brought out the credit card instead, knowing that I will eventually go back to work and income will start to flow again. I think that this is the trap of credit cards for most people, because it assumes that next month we are going to earn a little more to cover the expenditure on things we couldn't afford this month. That is very unlikely in a normal job and even if we say "next month I will eat only baked beans", we rarely do, so we end up in debt and more likely to get further into debt as we get into the habit of buy now and pay later living.

I am not out of the woods yet, physically, mentally or financially, but at least with the last one, I have some control over what is going to happen in the next year or two. Even though I will continue to, my goal of not having to work for the money is not that far away with a few market movements and hopefully this time, I will be a little smarter and ensure that I will never be a slave to debt again. I don't have all the plans in place, but I am getting there.

And I think that this is part of the problem with many people these days, as while there a plenty of opportunities to build and improve our conditions, many see themselves as victims of the economy, not survivors of it. They want to be saved, they do not want to save themselves.

Sure, we can downgrade our lifestyles in the same way that those who want to avoid stress have to do, but if we do not build the habits to live in that way happily, we will inevitably fail and have to downgrade again, and again. How far can we go? We can only tighten the belt so many notches, go without so many meals - before it is unsustainable for maintaining life, let alone a modicum of quality within that life.

It feels like many people are looking for ways to retreat from life, to accept that they are powerless and have no say in their outcomes. I don't know if this is a global phenomena or not, but it seems contagious. Hopelessness is a disease.

When it comes to dealing with stress, it isn't about avoiding what is stressful, it is about building the tools required to manage it. I think that this is the case with most of our personal struggles in life - A lack of tools. Sometimes, we have to build the tools and sometimes, the tools are there in front of us, we just have to pick them up and learn how to use them.

It is all about education. It needn't be formal.

Taraz [ Gen1: Hive ]