Breaking the Silence §§§§ Reacquire My Fire

in naturalmedicine •  10 months ago  (edited)

Harnessing the power of the Taurus full moon, years of prayers and intention setting have manifested my flame of passion and creative expression. I intend to use the FULL POWER of this fire moving forward and have already fallen to the floor in gratitude. The humans that are surrounding me now, some new and some that remain at my side through long-term ties of true family, are about to greatly benefit and enjoy their relationships with me on an unprecedented level. I am so glad I took the necessary time and steps in my isolation to get to this present moment... I am repaired, and more than that enhanced.

I have been heartbroken, betrayed, sick, slandered, encountered deaths, and completely shattered down to nothing in the past several months... but today, today I run with the wolves, and tonight I fly with the owls because there is no stopping the energy I have just set in motion. I absorb and retain this flame, this power, this long lost gift that was so heinously stripped from me in my past - NO MORE!

There is no time or will for sleep this day, there is only room for enhanced manifestation. Yesterday I had thoughts of loosing complete faith in ever achieving this state again, but I REFUSED to speak it into existence! I also recently decided that no matter what happens to me and how bad things get or make me feel, that I WILL NOT EVER GIVE UP!.. which prompted me to create my first meme ever several weeks ago:

Those are my homies Jedi & Shamrock at the old farm I used to work at (love you both)
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What I have discovered is that my ability to still put energy and intention into that which matters most to me in the midst of the greatest hardships of my life (and retaining my appreciation for), was the very thing that eventually propelled me to this moment, and re-granted me the divine gift I need - which is nothing more or less than realizing and taking back the full force of my power... for those of you that are privy to what I have been dealing with on any level, these recent posts from the past several weeks may surprise you to see...

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LOL
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I am not saying I do not have grudges of injustices to confront in my future created by my past, but since I am only here now these concepts are irrelevant... and Gaias got my back... I truly feel sorry for those that are about to get the distorted energy they put on me returned to them, and feel blessed to be able to give all the positvity I have to offer to those that have given such to me when I REALLY needed it. If you are one of the latter it is up to you to decide if you want to receive these blessings in store for you, the former have no choice as they created this reality for themselves, as did we all... I just choose to not hold that energy for them any longer, its not meant for me, learn your lessons for a change.... While the quality of your love does determine the quality of your life, so does the quality of your honor and respect for your fellow man and planet. If your actions are not in the best interest of all... then your actions are NOT of spirit... food for thought (I learned this lesson the hard way twice in two distinct fashions).

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This now hangs above the door to our room until I create a proper artistic banner on fabric. I hung it while performing an energy clearing of our space which exited anything not serving my highest good, and invites in only spirits and angels of purity, love, honor, healing, respect, and protection.

@alchemage, @kennyskitchen. @riverflows, @trucklife-family, @jonyoudyer, @eco-alex, @sukhasanasister - I love you and appriciate you all very much (obviously not just you guys), am honored by your friendship, and am sorry if anything I have been going through has affected you negatively on any level... everything I went through was necessary for me to get here... Thank you, seriously, and I hope each of you reads this post. It is also ok if it doesn't make it to you, because either way it will reach you, even if just subconsciously.

I have more things to improve about myself no doubt, and I am by no means perfect, but I am myself again, and I am actually happy for real. It feels REALLY good... bye bye soul cramp. My past no longer haunts me, I am here to help you brother or sister. In the words of the wise - BLESS UP!.. better yet, BLESS EVERYWHERE! I cannot wait to share with the world what I have in store for it.

Grounding this HARD here, holding onto it with a firm grip. My life depends on it. NOT LOOSING FAITH!

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P.S. - My eyes shifted from green to blue... this hasn't happened in almost 10 years. You have to know me REALLY well to know what that means... yea my eyes change color sometimes.

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Is it faux pas to put FB posts in a Steem post?.. don't care actually. Deal with it haha.

much love to you brother, I am so happy to read this and I can relate so much to what you have said. It has been such a testing time for you but oh so trans formative too. I look forward to what you bring forth and know that you got us all rooting for you ifrom all corners of the earth xxx

Thank you TLF, I can feel those ripples in my essence, and I am harnessing all the good vibes I recieve from everyone and everything. Bless everywhere.

So happy you are back and happy! Keep that flame burning and looking forward to what you will be bringing to the world!

I know what it is to have your eyes change from green to blue - mine do that too when your true nature is shining through - Keep on shining!

Thank you @Porters, and the flame is still burning bright. I am keeping my focus on that which is important to me, and slowly letting go of all that I need to at the right times... Everything in its due time, the right opportunities and people are coming forth in my strides. Bless everywhere.

From darkness, always light! Wonderful to see you feeling more positive. Love and light, always xx

Thank you RF, just had to accept my darkness as one with my light to find better balance in my soul. Never went that route before, but sure glad I did. It allowed me to release darkness away from me and absorb love from others that I wasn't previously. I feel great today too :-)

I don't know how I found this post, but it speaks to my past and present. Just over the last year, all of the bad things should have broken me, but they didn't and they won't break you either.

I have a t-shirt of a wolf with piercing blue eyes that I wear when things get rough. It helps to bring out that inner strength in me just when I need it the most.

I can say this. Looking back, the bad stuff that happened absolutely prevented even worse things from manifesting themselves into my life. But I was only able to see it looking back, not when I was in it. Know what I mean?

Because of that, I now have a different perspective on life than I ever did before. As George Harrison once said "All things must pass." And they will. Sending good thoughts your way. I would tell you to be strong, but you already are.

Thank you for your kind words and I can certainly relate. I have been through crazy trauma in my past in very similar ways and have achieved the same type of outlook looking back on those experiences many times... but this one is different and involves someone who, not only I care deeply about, but someone who has been committed to me for almost 7 years... so its not that easy to just let go of her, despite what my intuition may be telling me. I do fear that this may lead to a catastrophe i may have otherwise avoided if I just left, but sometimes I need to ask myself what is worth dealing with that... I think my staying with my partner may be worth the shit I have to deal with as a result... but at the same time, I need space, and need some time on my own without anyone. We are trying to figure out a healthy way to facilitate that for me while also trying to find a place for her to go during that time and being her being around people I trust. I know my soul needs space. At the end of that period, I know I will have a more clear understanding of what I have to do, and how to execute that. The bottom line is that I need to feel like I can be ok with what happened and still be with her, I cannot do that unless I get some time to myself.