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Post-Steemfest Musings in the middle of the night

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@celestal
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Posting in Koh Chang where I arrived on Monday with bunch of other Steemians. First night I slept like a baby: 12 hours, which is probably my record for a single night. Still being in Thailand and hanging out with Steemians, the post-Steemfest blues is not quite as severe as it would be should I have exchanged Thailand immediately for cold dark November Finland. I don't actually know how the weather is back home, but I actually hope it's in minus degrees. It might sound counterintuitive, but it's better if the snow sticks around, instead of it being just above freezing where it's just moist and cold. I don't miss that, but it is a bit of a bummer I missed my grandfather's funeral which was actually during Steemfest. Death doesn't ask for timing though - the trip was planned well ahead before his passing. Somehow I didn't think about it much during the event, but I suppose now at 3 am is a good time to meditate on that.

I didn't take much pictures with my phone, probably not enough even with my camera, but creating content during such an intense event comes with an opportunity cost, for me at least. Doesn't take much time to snap a picture or two, especially selfies that are so fun to see afterwards, but I feel it still shifts my attention from the moment to the future when there's already enough things to pay attention to in the present; you can never have all the talks you wished to have with all the Steemians.

Dad sent me this picture where his father was 25.

I never actually was close to my grandfather, due to the distance we had lived apart for most of my life. That's more of an excuse though, because during the last year I visited Lieksa (where he lived) three times. Some of my relatives have barely seen each others despite living in the same town. It's just a matter of priorities. We are very creative bullshitting ourselves and sometimes go to a great lengths to ease our cognitive dissonance with it. Why does someone's death suddenly make you so sad, if you had barely seen him/her? Effectively, nothing has changed in your immediate surroundings where the deceased one wasn't in the first place. Maybe it is your own choices you mourn over rather than the death itself, because you are the one that still has to live with yourself and your choices, choices you can never take back now that the one that you had an impact on is dissolved and never coming back.

A bit heavy? Might be, but I can't really come up with cheers, because it's so obvious to me how amazing Steemfest was. The food, the people - all of it.

And hugs, especially hugs. For why I think @arcange's concept of proof-of-hug is genius. Special thanks for @roelandp and the volunteer team who again provided such an unforgettable event. Not to forget all the sweet and kind Thai waiters and waitresses who kept us well fed and liquefied at all times. It was a unique opportunity to get to chat even with the Steemit Inc staff, and what I can tell, is that they are very serious on delivering something actual and not just promises anymore. Wide adoption is still on their aim, and with Communities and SMTs, it should be a step closer to reality. It's going to be an exciting year.

Big hug for you all ♥