cringe

So you've probably already heard the news that Square, founded by Twitter founder Jack Dorsey, has rebranded to Block. Following in Facebook's footsteps rebranding to Meta and shifting the focus of the company. I won't bore you with yet another take on this as I've already read quite a few here on Hive. What you may not know if you haven't been in the crypto space very long is... A ton of companies did something very similar in 2017 and it was cringe. Like so cringe it hurts. Let's take a step back to the past.

Long Island Iced... Blockchain???

In order to find some of this amazingly cringe worthy information - I had to fire up the Wayback Machine. The Wayback Machine is a way for use to see web pages as they existed in the past. Sometimes. Luckily this hilarious press release has been archived and we can still access it. This is the stupidest shit ever. But it worked. Long Island Iced Tea Corp. rebranded to Long Blockchain Corp. The fuck?? lol. Obviously this was a publicity move to pump their stocks, it doesn't take a genius to recognize that. It's just so fuckin out there. Like what the fuck does iced tea have to do with blockchain? Nothing. That's the point. They literally didn't do anything with this aside from pump the stock. It pumped 200%! So you're welcome if you didn't know about this.

But that's just the beginning. Keep reading for more cringe.

SkyPeople Fruit Juice what???

Hong Kong based company Skypeople Fruit Juice rebranded to Future FinTech Group Inc. While not being quite as cringe worthy as Long Blockchain Corp, still kinda hilarious. This company has literally nothing to do with fintech. Or even tech at all. They make fruit juice. Despite the name change, they literally sell packaged fruit and shit. This amazing image was pulled from a presentation to investors LOL*. Who invested in this? Like fuck me...

Look at that first line. FinTech initiatives include a kiwi trading center what the fuck lol. Maybe I'm an idiot. I dunno but I found this pretty damn cringey. Like I get trying to keep up with the times, but at least do something that's actually related to your busness. If you're interested for some reason - the presentation is here.

But wait... THERE'S MORE

Ping Shan Tea Group Limited.. uh...

Hong Kong based tea company Ping Shan Tea Group Limited rebranded to Blockchain Group Co Ltd. They make FUCKING TEA! Why the tea companies? Like seriously? I get it.. PUMP THE STOCK but come on. You're more creative than that... At least I hope you have a better sense of marketing than a doorknob. Again, the Wayback Machine came in clutch here because their website is gone. Check that fancy Blockchain logo above the fucking tea plantation. Boy oh boys I'm sure this left investors dripping wet for their stocks.

Is there more cringe? Yes.

The Crypto Company???

This one is fucking weird. Apparently Croe Inc., a fitness company that was developing a new kind of sports bra, was taken over and turned into The Crypto Company. At least they actually started doing some blockchain related shit (I think) after their shift away from women's fitness clothing. Like how the hell do these meetings where this shit is decided go? Boss comes in, says "We're not making sports bras anymore as of now. We're gunna make blockchain stuff and we're called The Crypto Company. Any questions?" Then no one says shit and they go about pumping the stock.

There you have it. A blast from the glory days of crypto 2017.

Did you laugh? Did you cringe?

That was the goal.

Lemme know.

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