Cheating Doesn't Mean What You Think It Means
Ahhh. Cheating. Such a despised word. It has this despicable concept behind it. There are a lot of things to tackle when it comes to this word. Where do I begin? Well, maybe it's not a bad idea to start from its very inception.
Where did the word "cheat" come from?
According to the oxford entry for the word cheat. It originated from an old French word Eschete and has been adopted by old English as escheat.
*Eschete, escheat is a legal term used to describe a property or piece of land that is owned by the state because the late previous owner does not have a legal heir.
With this as the expected origin of the term "cheat", it looks far removed from the definition that we are accustomed to today. How do we define cheat or cheating today?
In my own view, we define cheating as gaining something via inappropriate and underhanded ways. We also see cheating as having another relationship while one is in a relationship.
We can all relate to both definitions but if we consider the word's etymology, both of them are very far from the original meaning of the word. So how did a neutral and legal word escheat become a devious and cunning word cheat?
I believe that the essence of the word was smeared when emotions got involved. Let's make our imagery work with this one.
Imagine that you're in the old days. You work with your buddy on his lands all day planting and farming. You help him with his land every day. You poured your blood and sweat into that land. One day, your buddy met an unexpected death. He was without any heirs so the state took over the lands you were working on.
How would you feel then? Suddenly, the land you worked on your whole life is now state property, and you can't do anything about that. Doesn't it feel like you have been robbed of all those years and effort? Doesn't it feel like the state has stolen something from you? Wouldn't you feel betrayed? Doesn't it feel unfair? Like you were...cheated on?
Well, that's what I just think happened at the start of the word's evolution. Sounds plausible right? Because as we all know, words can develop multiple meanings when they are associated with something else that caught on. Just look at the word "shit", it was just a normal word before it was regarded as a curse or a bad word.
Well, that is what I am thinking when I say that cheating does not mean what you think it means.
I think when you relate cheating in a romantic setting you are really referring to infidelity, adultery, and unfaithfulness. It's quite fascinating too. Even the use of the word cheating in this regard is pretty confusing. You could be cheating, you could be cheating with, you could have been cheated on, you could be the person who the other person is cheating with.
See what I mean? It goes to all parts of the scenario. You could be the victim, the perpetrator, or even the accomplice. It's unlike the words infidel, adulterer, and unfaithful, they are all pertaining to the guilty party. That makes cheating a pretty flexible and universal word.
Cheating Hearts
Let us play with our thoughts for a little here and accept for a bit that cheating means being unfaithful to your partner.
When is it considered cheating? When does it start?
For infidelity and adultery, a clear romantic and/or sexual relationship must happen between the guilty parties before it can be considered as such.
But in today's setting cheating on someone seems to have a vague prerequisite and requirement. It could be in text, chat, and all those intangibles.
Is looking and admiring another person cheating? But what if you have indecent thoughts about another person while in a relationship? Is it cheating already? Isn't it normal for imaginations to run wild?
So I had this friend who considered watching adult videos cheating. I mean, is that really a thing? What do you think?
That's also another thing about "cheating", in relationships. It tends to be subjective. It may vary from person to person. I guess communication still is the key to avoiding all such things.
You should draw the line clearly and make all the boundaries clear and marked. When it really comes to matters of the heart and relationship matters, logic rarely has a voice in them.
I'm just curious though, for polyamorous people, when does cheating occur, and when does it start?
That means, the government has always been and will always be, the OG cheater.
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