Sleeping through the Meta

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LeoFinance
7 Min Read
1440 words

My wife called out in Finnish to Smallsteps:

Do you want to come and help me put your clean laundry away?

No.

Smallsteps then came back to our game and I asked - didn't mummy ask you to put the laundry away?

No. She asked, do I WANT to put my laundry away.

That's fair.

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Last night was the first night that I got to use the CPAP machine to sleep and while I think it will prove beneficial, the main thing I got from it this morning was, a sore neck. Having the mask on forces me to sleep in a different position and my body doesn't like it yet. But, my right hand is getting more accustomed to wearing a watch.

After thinking about it a bit though, I reckon this might end up being an additional benefit of wearing the mask as I sleep, because I tend to normally sleep on my front with my head resting on the pillow with my arm up under it, which puts a lot of pressure on my shoulder, causing other problems. Sleeping on my back should improve this, but I haven't trained myself to do so, because that is also the position I snore the most.

These are those "knock-on effects" I have mentioned when we change a habit, where a chain reaction of change starts as one puts the pressure to move the next and with each shift, a snowball effect happens, amplifying the total change. It is a pretty basic concept of course, but so much of our activity is automatic and habitual, that it feels natural and right, even if we aren't getting the results we are after. Then, we get disappointed, because we aren't getting the results we want, even though we are doing everything right.

For a gaming example, when Splinterlands introduces a new set of cards and new attributes, it opens up options that weren't available before, or reduces or increases the benefits of one path over another. This means that strategies to maximize wins in the game change, which you will often hear referred to as a change in the meta. Those who do not change their game play or add cards to account for the new conditions, will inevitably struggle.

It is interesting to observe and I have seen it many times on Hive and related, where people are acting in a way that they believe is correct, but they don't actually understand the meta. While this is a do what you want, platform, there are consequences to every action, with some being positive and some being negative, and regardless of whether the outcomes were what was intended, they are what they are, based on millions of inter-related points.

Not understanding how something works, doesn't mean it isn't going to work. It is like an engine, where most people have very little knowledge about how they work in a practical sense, but they can still drive a car. However, if someone doesn't know how to drive well, they are likely to have an accident, even if that wasn't their intention. There are a lot of people over the years on Hive who have crashed their car and it nearly always comes down to them doing what they want with no understanding or care for the meta conditions. And then, when they are sitting in a smoking pile of mangled account, they blame their results on everyone else.

For example, there have been some quite outspoken people over the last year or so who were essentially caught acting poorly on Hive as judged by the meta conditions and went to Blurt. Those same people have then acted poorly there in various ways and are now finding out that, the Meta of Blurt, despite the lack of downvotes, still isn't going to accept their activity. As a result, they are near unanimously powering down and out of Blurt too, in the same way they did on Hive.

Will they ever learn?

Unlikely. Because they don't want to learn, they don't want to be a part of a healthy society - all they want is to do what they want. And because of the way a society works, that isn't going to be accepted, when what they want is to extract as much value from the community as they can.

Like my daughter, they don't understand the social meta. "Do you want...?" isn't a question, it is a recommendation, but to a 5 year old that doesn't understand the social intricacies of language in this way, she will take it literally, or test boundaries as she is doing now (evidenced by the cheeky look on her face). But as she ages, through these experiences she will build a social understanding of usual behavior and understand when it is appropriate for her to act in various ways and learn the consequences of acting outside of the meta. Through trial and error, she will build a skillset and those errors as a child aren't costly, and at some point will know what my wife actually means.

However, is it appropriate for adults not to have a basic understanding of social environments, or cause and effects of their behavior? Is it normal that people are so self-centered that they believe they can do as they please, without consequence from those who are negatively affected by their behavior?

"Do what you want" isn't a recommendation, it is an option.

And I think that what we see on places like Hive is, no, it isn't appropriate. There are consequences to every activity and there are stronger reactions to what the average user sees as a negative activity. On top of this, there are other factors involved, where reactions are expressed through stake, where some people have more stake than others and are happy to wield it. People agree or disagree about these things, but that is the meta environment in which we operate within and, we all opt-in to joining, staying or leaving. This environment is dynamic and does change over time, shifting the culture and many sub-cultures involved, like when social shifts were made over the space of two years to enact a technical shift that made bidbots unprofitable.

A lot of people believe that IQ is the best indicator of intelligence, but a high IQ minus the ability to operate in the social environment is quite useless, as very little can actually be accomplished without others. The inability to appropriately read and act within the current meta, means being ineffectual of changing it, even if there is a better way known. And, having a high IQ yet having no concern for others, is going to likely lead to negative consequences, regardless of intention.

It is all about game theory and behavioral economics, but if you do not understand or pay no heed to the meta environment, no sense can be applied and actions will continually butt heads with society. However, because there is still that sense of "I am doing what is right" involved, there is the feeling that everyone else is to blame.

It is a funny issue really. Because a lot of these people ignore the meta and "do what they want" due to their own self-interest, even though their results are poor. If they were smart, they'd likely recognize that getting what you want and doing what you want, are two different things. But snice they don't, they do what they want and they get the results the meta supports.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with doing what you want, but understanding that there are consequences to actions, means that if what you want isn't appropriate for the meta, the results are going to be negative. For some though, doing what they want is appropriate and gets them what they want too. It is rare though, that what we want to do, is an accurate fit for the environment so, we best learn how to adjust ourselves to better suit the moment and perhaps, learn how to change the meta to better suit what we want over time. As a large group though, there is no such thing as "perfect", meaning it is going to keep changing and there will never be a point where it will suit anyone completely.

This is the same in all of life.

No one opts-in to life.

What we do with our lives and how we behave with what we have though, is up to us.

Understand the Meta. Act appropriately.

The Most Effective Tactics Available.

Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]

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Sometimes what we what are not always things suitable for us

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That is why it is good to have enough relationships early in life to learn at least, what isn't right for us :D

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Yeah man, you are right about that.. but one should be careful the kind of relationship one would have

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It is better to make relationship mistakes when young, than old. Be a little carefree and explorative to learn through trial and error.

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Hmmm, I think I can relate with this.but life is truly a lesson tho..

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CPAP? I did that for a couple of years before I was surgically corrected and learned to sleep on my side. My best ex sewed tennis balls in a t-shirt so I really couldn't sleep on my back. It worked.

The bad news? Spontaneous sex ended with the vader mask. Once I was strapped in I was in for the duration. Just sayin'

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Did the surgery completely cure it?

Spontaneous sex ended with the vader mask.

There is no risk of loss here at least....

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Sort of. That and sleeping on my side put it in the 'moderate' status. I had my soft pallet trimmed and my nose straightened and cleaned. I'd broken it at least 10 times and it seems it was pretty hard to convince air to move up the channel on demand.

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You mean your mamma never, NEVER rolls over and says something like 'hey, baby. Do you remember when...?'

For me, it was sorta like Sam and the squirrels. He's gotten 3 so far this year and that is more than enough to keep him digging like crazy every day. Just sayin'

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3 in a year - I wish.

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I had some stuff done to my nose a few years ago for something else, but it didn't help...

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I completely agree. It's not always about what we want but what will be beneficial to us in the long run.
I see a lot of people make decisions they think would be beneficial due to ignorance and the inability to see the greater picture behind their decision.

In the end, we simply have to observe our environment and act accordingly so we wouldn't be victims of our own mistakes.

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And it seems that social ignorance doesn't have much to do with intelligence, which is probably why they separate it out as a different kind of intelligence.

What is beneficial to us in the long run, is rarely what feels good in the short term.

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One change can lead to a multiple changes that are accepted with trust that it will all turn out ok. Your daughter obviously understands words and can use them to have precedence over the true intention of another person's intentions. She is learning quickly.

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The cheeky look on her face told me she completely understood what was implied, but we were happily playing a game too, so I let her get away with it to satisfy my own self-interest :D

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hehehe x

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Nice, to see you are making adjustments and surely you'd adjust. At least you know yourself and You'd easily cope. You taking it one step at a time.

Most times we learn slowly but eventually we get there.

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I don't know about easily cope, but cope reluctantly perhaps :D

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That still sounds like something to me, lol.

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There is always a consequence to every action anyone makes. that is why we all need to search to understand the norms of the society before forcing to be integrated deeply into it.
Your daughter good. She gave the innocent answer to that question.

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Have you ever read the situation poorly and got a bad reaction to what you have done?

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Well.. yeah. Growing up I had misunderstood a lot of things. I now know better.
I once gave an honest reply to a joke and got humbled for not being emotionally intelligent at the time.
But the fact was that I didn't read the room.

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I think we have all been there where we haven't read the room - but some people, never learn to read, no matter how many lessons they are taught.

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Then, we get disappointed, because we aren't getting the results we want, even though we are doing everything right.

That happens when we don't have the ropes in our hand. It is kind of dependance on something or someone. However much we try, we don't get the results we want.

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I feel that a lot of people get this when it comes to government handouts and governments in general. Reliance on something that is not designed to provide a positive outcome for individuals.

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Living a good and free life is all what we want as humans

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I am not sure if it is possible, but working toward that end is rewarding in itself.

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I had to learn the hard way, that social intelligence was as important as being smart or intelligent.... The way the world put it.

Without social intelligence, it wouldn't matter how much I know or think I can do or accomplish, I'll always struggle to get the results I desire.

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What happened to make you realize and what did you do to change?

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I changed my sleeping position ( on my stomach, left cheek on pillow / my neck turned to the right ) about three years ago. After having slept like that for as long as I remember, I changed to either sleeping on my left side / shoulder, face in the same position as before or - if I can do it - on my back, mainly because I learnt.my previous sleeping position was the worst. Nowadays, I don't understand how I managed to sleep for so long in that earlier pose :^)

Sleeping on your back is great, it just takes some time to get used to it. Good luck, hope this benefits you.

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I am hoping that the change in position will eventually regulate and the "new pain" in my neck will disappear, and so will the old pain in the neck.

It has been nearly three decades since I have last woken up without pain and I assume that now with age, I will never have that again anyway, but still---- it can be better :)

Hope you are well mate!

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Three decades waking up in pain sounds rough.

I myself have woken up for a decade or two, it seems, feeling a lot of heaviness - like I need to break out of a giant egg ( shell ) almost every single.morning. It's getting easier these days though.

Up till today, I'm not sure whether it's depression or if it perhaps ( also ) has to do with my sleep ( and especially my breathing, at night ).

Boa noite / good night!

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Excellent post!

While I'd like to think this message will spark the adults behaving this way on Hive/Blurt/Whateverisnext into realising some home truths, I won't hold my breath.

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Unless you can hold your breath like a rock - I wouldn't :)

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Talk about social cues! Smallsteps beat your wife at her own game. Score! Not a game, but boy, howdy! I didn't grasp the social game at five! My mother went with the direct approach, never leaving the chance for misunderstanding. BTW I adore the cheeky side of her! :)

You got your CPAP! The benefits usually weigh-in, especially over the long term. Much luck! I could go on and on, but you already know. :)

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She is super cheeky and as much as I love it now, it scares future me! :D

So far with the machine (2 nights) I am not getting as tired during the day - don't feel like I need a nap.

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I agree and you should be very afraid. :) She is way too smart and it is a game you won't win. She is super adorable and it is fun now, but, won't be when she is trying to have her own way. Seriously, it would be like me going up against you- Hello, no! You know it, so it is not much of a problem, but, honestly, she is so fun, it is really hard to correct. She was right, even if she chose to take it as it was said, not implied.

Yay for the CPAP! I am happy that you are already realizing the intended results. It will only get better over time. Many people quit using them when they start feeling better, but, don't do it. This has been a hard-fought battle with fatigue, and I am glad it is showing off!

Have a great Friday!

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Sounds like small steps and my son would get along lol. I’ve posed the same question to him and he says no he’s not interested. Little shits!

Ah the changes that come with modifying sleeping position, hopefully you get some good sleep soon! I’ve had those issues, although thankfully I don’t think with apnea but it’s hard to know. I do wake up refreshed if I get to bed early so I’m thinking I may not have apnea.

Making changes is hard but change is the only constant in life!

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Kids are great - they keep us on our toes and make sure we think before we speak.

Do you tend to sleep late? I am a night owl from birth - but I might be a little extreme these days :)

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These days being just superficially smart and intelligent isn’t enough . With a lot going on one has to learn the ropes on emotional intelligence as well as social intelligence to have a headway especially when it comes to human management.

I hope you’re able to adjust to this new sleeping position of yours ultimately.

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People think they are smart, while they still have access to Google.

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Hahaha! Double Standard Original!!

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Do you want to come and help me put your clean laundry away?

First mistake, it should be "please come and put your clean laundry away" (or age appropriate equivalent) and the only acceptable response is along the lines of "just let me finish up [whatever I'm doing right now] real quick" XD

what they want is to extract as much value from the community as they can

Are these the same types of people that would kick up a massive tantrum because most governments and busineesses of the world operate in literally exactly the same way?

no sense can be applied and actions will continually butt heads with society. However, because there is still that sense of "I am doing what is right" involved, there is the feeling that everyone else is to blame.

I just automatically started thinking of times where sometimes you are actually doing what is right and everyone else is actually to blame/society is wrong, but I guess they're generally edge cases XD

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and the only acceptable response is along the lines of "just let me finish up [whatever I'm doing right now] real quick" XD

This doesn't get me out of anything!

Are these the same types of people that would kick up a massive tantrum because most governments and busineesses of the world operate in literally exactly the same way?

In general yes - look at the drama happening on Blurt and the people involved :D

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This doesn't get me out of anything!

It's a balancer (you're already doing something so you're going to finish up/get to a good stop point), not a thing to completely avoid doing stuff XP

I kind of know there is a drama because some people have been wriitng about it but I otherwise know nothing about it (I had a look at Blurt ages ago when I heard about it and noped out the second I found out that no downvotes was a "feature", been there done that on another platform that has since gone under for unrelated reasons, it was an absolute trainwreck and I didn't want to see that again).

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My friend has the batmask and you can see the imprint on him daily in the morning but it does give him a good night sleep after he got used to it. He isn't wrecked anymore and he dies alot less at night 🤣. I kid you not.

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I actually haven't looked for the imprint... oops. Now I am wondering what I look like when I head into an early meeting!

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